I have been so busy the past 3 months that I decided that my New Year's Resolution was to CHILL OUT. When I spend time with my baby, I have to tell myself to be more present and focus on her because she will only be like this for a second; otherwise, I'm a spinning top trying to edit photos with one hand and clean up after my 3-year-old with the other. It's utterly exhausting.
I often think back to when Marin was a baby and how much more present I was then (or at least I think I was in hindsight- who knows? I could be totally wrong!). I keep wondering what the difference was. Then I remember that when Marin was an infant, I literally just laid around staring at her all day long. Today, I don't have that luxury. Between caring for both my girls, supporting my husband and his business, attempting to keep our house sanitary at the very least, and trying to carve out a little time to manage my own blossoming photography business, I feel spread a bit thin. Honestly, what mom doesn't?
Today, I decide to take Reina for a walk and listen to a "meditate for anxiety" session on my Calm app. As cheesy as it sounds, I found the guidance helpful and the walk with my littlest a therapeutic moment to connect with her and appreciate the life I have, because it truly is great. It's these baby steps (no pun intended) that I hope will lead me to a place of calm, acceptance, and content so I can fully enjoy this little bundle of joy that I worked so, so hard to bring into the world.